Why do you wed me away, oh my father?

I have been deeply depressed for last couple of weeks; have felt the loneliness of being lonely too very well. But during this whole process I never realized I missed home, my land. I have not been a nationalist, so this longing for a land is confusing. It is not the geographical India that I miss, it is the cultural familiarity that sings a melancholic song in my heart. And the melancholy manifested to me this evening when I was listening to a very popular and in a way mundane folk song, Shunduri Komola nachhe. There could be some deep philosophical meaning hidden in the words, the way all folk songs are, but today am not an intellectual. I am just a simple boy longing my land, longing the love and the familiar faces, longing the heat and dust. And what an irony of fate that I still need to write this in a language that is not mine to the core. While listening to the beats of Kamola I remembered another song, a song used in the movie Umrao Jan, another folk tune, Kaheko bihaye bides, a soul stirring song by a bride asking her father why do you wed me away when my brother gets to stay. I was surprised that in a moment of home sickness, I found these words so close to my heart. As if I am the young bride now, with my tearful eyes I look at my land, and ask why do you wed me away? Why when so many of my brothers and sisters get to stay with you, then why not me? Staying abroad, and making a new country your own in a lot of way is like an arranged marriage. You arrange it because of the possible future prospect, but still on the eve of the wedding and every time you fail and find yourself lost in a crowd, you ask again and again, why do you wed me away? We keep staying on, just like an arranged marriage, may be because a part of it worked, or may be because it is secured, or may be just out of habit. We go back to our father’s, show off or feel compelled to show off our happiness but still the tune keeps playing-kaheko bihaye bidesh.